snakes on my motherf*cking head.

Let's talk about my new haircut.

So a month ago, my hair was long enough to basically touch the small of my back. Then about three weeks ago, I chopped it all off because I was moving to Singapore, which has an average daily humidity of 95%. My hair doesn't care about making me look good, in other words. I have determined that pre-styling gel (which smells like kiwi, mmmm) and some serious hairspray will make the situation atop my head look not-terrible, despite the heat, but of course sweat kind of undoes all that and we're left with the everyday mop. But!

Today, I tried to curl my hair. I was nearly successful. In attempting to do this thing, I uncovered some pictures from when Jenny and I were drunk in our hotel room, and I feel they are worth sharing. So before we get to my curly hair, here's a few shots of my straight (albeit wine-o'ed) hair:



Let me tell you a story about two girls who discovered, after two bottles of wine, that their laptop could take pictures. At first, they were timid.


And then, the strangest things began to happen.


They found themselves soaring to new heights!


And one of them split in TWO!


They discovered Sepia, and took a Serious Sepia Shot.


Then had some more wine, and took a Silly Sepia Shot.

In the end though, the photobooth ATE THEM AND MERGED THEM INTO ONE BEING!


And that, ladies and gentlmen, is how BMF was born.


So that was fun. Moving on to my hair. The curly-hair thing is quite a process, I don't mind telling you. Upon a tme in New York, I had velcro rollers that made my hair straight but I never successfully found anything to make it curly. Until I found these:

Which look somewhat questionable, being...hot pink snakey things, but I decided to give it a try. The instructions tell you to put styling product into clean, semi-dry hair, which is what I did, naturally, after taking a shower. After a few less-than-successful attempts at getting these suckers onto my head, I figured out exactly how one is supposed to use them. Purely for comedy's sake, I will tell you another story.


Once upon a time, in a land ten thousand miles away, a girl looked into a not-so-magic mirror and saw:


SNAKES ON HER MOTHERFUCKING HEAD!!!


And she was frightened, but she continued through the mirror, until there was nothing but snakes on her motherfucking head.


Which, in the end, wasn't so bad. And made for some very amusing pictures.




In the end though, she couldn't stay in the mirror world forever. And she crawled back to the world whence she had come, but to her astonishment, the snakes came with her! At least, that's what she thought at first, and then she realized -- they had never been snakes at all! It was just her hair -- curly!

Or kind of curly.

I took them out too soon. A note for next time.